Remember

...you may be only one person in the world, but you are the world to one person...

I talked to him again today on MSN Messenger. He said something about saying "I love you" and that it has no meaning after awhile. That when you say it over and over again it becomes meaningless.

Here's what I told him.

"Those three words have been around for thousands and thousands of years, in hundreds of languages and they are still here. No one has ever been able to wear them out. Use them everyday and just try and wear them out. It won't work."

His True Love Speaks

"Dont feel sad when you think about us - about us being apart.

"Feel happy that we have found true love. Even though things are tough right now and sometimes I feel lost and alone I know that things are going to be ok, and you help me to realize this.

"They say "Its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" I don't feel that I have lost any thing but this is so true. He and I are so lucky to have found love. And we are even more lucky to have found it again and to have it still. I dont think our love was ever lost, I was hiding from it.

"Our love for each other was beginning to be painful, it got to the point where I felt like I needed to do something to make things better, if only for me. I only made them worse, but I feel that they are right again.

"So please never feel sad when you think of us, rejoice and be happy for your son has found his true love! And I will be with him forever, you can count on that. I love him very much. More than I'm able to express sometimes.

"You have done so much to comfort me when I needed you, and I really appreciate it. You may feel like you're not doing enough, but you are doing awesome!!! And I want you to know that I am glad to have you in my life.

"You can talk about the sad things, even if it makes me sad, I dont mind. Sometimes its good to just be sad for a while, as long as you come back and realize its not so bad. Write what you will, and feel free. Let your heart sing like I know it can. Express yourself with your words, I will always listen."

An Ambush!

Sometimes luck is on your side. That's the way you want it to be - but in Iraq when luck is on your side it usually means somebody else's luck has run out.
On any given day in Iraq there can be over a thousand patrols and searches. Which means that there are a lot of Soldiers and Marines exposing themselves to dangerous situations. Even when the day's work is done there is still a chance that something can happen on your way back to base or even after you are "safely" home.
Two patrols - one lucky. One unlucky.
A patrol from Bronco Troop of the 1-14, with our Soldier driving the command Stryker, was returning to FOB Tal Afar from a mission during the early evening Tuesday. Operational security states that patrols should always take a different route home than they took on the way out. This patrol had a couple of available options and decided to take the road less traveled. Luck? They returned to the FOB without incident.
Another patrol also returning to the FOB at the same time had a decision to make too. But they took the other route. This patrol was ambushed by Iraqi militia with rocket propelled grenade launchers. The militia men fired off several RPG rounds and one impacted against the side of a Humvee carrying Soldiers from Stryker Brigade. A short gun battle finished what the Iraqi's started.
Four Stryker Soldiers riding in the Humvee were seriously injured in the ambush. One died on the way to the Army medical facility in Mosul.
When you hear the news that somebody didn't make it back you thank the Lord you did and then you say a little prayer for the family of the Soldier who wasn't so lucky.
So, if you feel you've had your fair share of luck and there's some to spare - send it to our guys in Iraq. They could use it.

Stryker Takes a Punch

Like a scene out of an action movie, a midday explosion engulfs a vehicle in a cloud of dust and smoke. The cloud parts to show vehicle and occupants unhurt and ready for payback. A car is seen fleeing the area at high speed, but the squad decides to simply report the incident and press on, as if nothing happened, though clearly something had. Further proof that a new Army vehicle named Stryker can take a punch and keep on fighting.

The Stryker was rolling down the highway when the IED went off right under it. The concussion of the explosion knocked the team leader and the gunner from their positions in the hatches. They tumbled backwards into a vehicle with more protruding knobs than you can imagine. The other crew members were rocked by the explosion - ears ringing.

The vehicle had a single flat tire and some nicks and scratches, - as did the team leader and gunner, along with more than a couple bruises. But the vehicle and the crew recovered quickly and continued their mission. The flat tire didn't even slow down this eight wheeled monster.

Contrast this with another incident that happened at about the same time.

A Humvee in a convoy rolls past a sheep market along the two-lane road running past the village of Tal Afar, 50 miles west of Mosul. It’s late afternoon and these troops are heading back to their base after a day of convoy escort.

Then, someone inside the market remotely detonates an IED under the Humvee, injuring one Soldier and mortally wounding another. The wounded Soldier dies en route to a hospital, just hours before his 25th birthday.

The lightly armored Humvee's are pin-pointed for attack because the chances of injuring or killing our guys is better for the insurgents.

Thank God our Soldier drives the Stryker and not a Humvee.

Palace Visit

Task Force Olympia and Stryker Brigade Headquarters is housed in Sadamm's old palace in the city of Mosul. It's called Camp Freedom. The palace is not as grand as it once was but it is in a lot better shape than most of Saddam's 59 other palaces.

When US Soldiers converged on the palace during the opening stages of the war the Iraqi troops stationed here dropped their weapons and ran. So the grounds weren't destroyed by artillery, mortars and rockets. But when the Iraqi military left Iraqi citizens came in. They carted off all of the furniture, light fixtures, appliances - even the toilets and sinks. They pulled the electric wires right out of the walls. Given enough time they would have even chipped away the walls to get at the rebar inside.

Here is a description of what one Soldier saw when he was there.

"There's some scribbling on one wall - it's not ink, it's actually carved right into the stone. It's a drawing of what he (Saddam) wanted his new palace addition to look like. A worker chiseled it into the stone after he drew it. They said that was so if the addition didn't turn out right somebody would pay for the mistake.

The place has an indoor and an outdoor swimming pool. The only person who could swim in it was Saddam - anybody else would have been killed. There's no water in either of them now so the guys can't swim either. The indoor pool is being used as a temporary barracks for guys in Mosul.

It's amazing, we spent months training in the rain and heat. Living out of our Strykers when we first got here and there are guys who get to sleep in the palace bedrooms every night. Not really fair but then life's not fair. One office is in Saddam's old bedroom - it's huge, with 20 foot ceilings and windows that look out over the city.

There are pictures made from little stones (mosaics) that show him. In one he has his hand on top of a woman's head while she's kneeling and another is of a little girl sitting on his lap - the kid doesn't even look happy in the picture. Why would they even make it like that?

Saddam Mosaic



There are two dorms on the other side of the grounds. The Soldiers here said that they were for the woman in the palace so that the party members could, well, party. The main palace must be about 100 rooms. There are also troop barracks near by but not on the palace grounds."

Styker Riddle

How many Stryker Soldiers can you fit in a burnt out car?
Riddle?

Six!

Plus three Iraqi Civil Defense Corp officers in the glove box.

This is all that reamins of a vehicle which attacked coalition forces in Tal Afar and was destroyed by SBCT Soldiers and the ICDC.

Rocketed!

I missed this incident from a couple weeks back - sorry, I have to concentrate better.

Activity by coalition and anti-coalition forces in Northern Iraq generally takes place in the evening and night - seldom during the day. The cover of darkness provides security for the good guys and the bad guys alike. Daylight attacks are rare in this area but they do happen. This is what happened during one such daylight attack.

Soldiers when not on patrol, guard duty or other detail have some free time to write letters, use the Internet, play video games, etc. In the middle of the afternoon the FOB (Forward Operating Base) in Tal Afar was rocked by repeated explosions. Soldiers stop what they are doing and exit buildings immediately when attacks such as these occur. They either move to protective bunkers or to defensive positions. Iraqi insurgents had launched a rocket and mortar attack on the FOB. Generally the attacks are a nuisance because in their haste to set up, fire and run the Iraqi attackers don't take time to aim.

The SBCT uses radar installations to track incoming rockets and mortar rounds. Information about the trajectory of the incoming rounds is sent to computers in the artillery positions at the speed of light and return fire commences within a couple minutes. Iraqi attackers shoot and scoot quickly to keep from becoming casualties.

This attack was unlucky for the FOB though. One of the mortar rounds scored a direct hit on the base finance office. Three Stryker Soldiers working in the office were severely wounded and had to be transported to Germany to receive medical attention. Luckily no one was killed and the Soldiers injured in the attack will fully recover.

The attack and injuries are serious enough but the aftermath of the attack was even worse for a lot of the guys. The finance office is the easiest way for Stryker Soldiers to get money to use for local purchases, to use the Internet connections ($2.00 for thirty minutes) and to buy items at the makeshift base PX - they withdraw the funds from their pay. The attack not only destroyed the finance office building and injured the three Soldiers inside it also cut access to cash! Hundreds of Stryker Soldiers then contacted loved ones at home asking for cash to be sent to them immediately - not knowing how long the office would be out of commission.

However, within a week a makeshift finance office was open and running in an adjacent building.

Attacks are more common than the news media leads us to believe. During any given 24 hour period in Iraq there are between 500 and 1000 attacks on coalition forces all across the country - they range from rockets and mortars to AK-47 fire. Coalition troops during the same time frame conduct between 1200 and 1500 patrols and searches.

Border Crossing

A second night of border patrols netted several more smugglers and resulted in the death of an Iraqi insurgent or smuggler.

Patrols were conducted along the southern zone of the 1-14 Cav area of operation through out the night. Several of these incidents resulted in the capture of smugglers and the confiscation of weapons and contraband. One of these incidents resulted in a death.

Details are sketchy but here's what I know. Soldiers from Bronco Troop of the 1-14 Cav were conducting 'interdiction" patrols along the Syrian border with Iraq, stopping smugglers and Iraqi fighters from going about their business. The Soldiers had set up in over watch positions during the night along the border near suspected border crossing points.

In the middle of the night a group of smugglers crossed into Iraq from Syria. One of the Iraqi smugglers was carrying an AK-47. When confronted by the Stryker Soldiers the smuggler with the AK raised the rifle and pointed the weapon at a US Soldier. Several "Strykers" positioned in the immediate vicinity then fired their weapons and the smuggler was cut down in a volley of bullets. The other smugglers surrendered without further incident.

Other details aren't known at this point. As additional information becomes available about the night's activities I'll let you know. Central Command has verified the incident but gave no details and information from our Soldier who was at the scene was very brief.

Night Mission

It had been raining and dreary in Northern Iraq for many days. The sun was just sinking below the horizon, turning the clouds as they cleared into brilliant orange and red. It would be a clear night, the first in many nights. The Soldiers in Bronco Troop of the 1-14 Cav were just completing preparations for a night mission. Border patrol. American Soldiers own the night. Stryker Soldiers, Ghost Soldiers - they are one in the same - Strykers are an example of Army Stealth Technology. Superior technology gives them advantages but mission success still depends on the will, intelligence and stamina of the Soldier.

Thermal imaging and Night Vision instruments were working fantastic this night. The Stryker Soldiers chances of success were in their favor tonight. With speed and in silence the Strykers headed out on the night's mission. It was a long trip all the way out to the southern most border fort in the 1-14's AO (Area of Operation). It wasn't the first time that day that they had been there.

Earlier in the day, the scouts had done what scouts are trained to do. They scouted during daylight. Bronco Troop found and marked several excellent spots to hide and watch the border - several great vantage points that gave them excellent views of the surrounding terrain. During the scouting mission they discovered a break in the earthen berm that forms the only barrier between Iraq and Syria. The hole in the berm was large enough to accommodate trucks carrying contraband and weapons. The Scouts also found several spider holes that the Iraqi insurgents or smugglers had been using to hide during the day or to hide weapons and contraband.

Sometimes a mission such as this turns into a long boring uneventful night, but sometimes it doesn't take long at all for things to happen. Fifteen minutes after the Strykers had set themselves up in their vantage points they encountered the first action of the night. Five trucks crossed the border through the hole in the berm. When the last truck had cleared the border the 1-14 Cav committed themselves to the engagement.

When the Iraqi drivers saw the American Soldiers they tried to run but didn't make it far. Only a handful of the smugglers were caught and several ran off into the night. The Strykers moved back into position and waited, knowing that the smugglers would want to come back for their gear and trucks - or at least try to get back home.

Bronco Troop waited in the darkness, scanning the area with thermal and night vision. One more smuggler was apprehended trying to move across the border with a tractor and boxes of machine parts. They had to wait a couple more hours before the next incident.
That's when just over a dozen men appeared on the top of the berm and walked into Iraq from Syria. Each man was carrying a weapon - RPG's and RPK's (rocket propelled grenade launchers and machine guns) The night could quickly turn into a hornet's nest because of this new development. One well placed RPG round could completely destroy a Stryker vehicle and turn the night into a personal disaster for many. Machine gun fire, even though not well aimed in the darkness, could find a target.

But the night is a Stryker Soldier's ally. The Iraqi insurgents couldn't see the Stryker Soldiers concealed in their positions but they themselves were being tracked. Then, quick action, decisive action by the Strykers. Several shots are fired. The insurgents can't see well enough to engage the Strykers and won't risk it. They drop their weapons and attempt to escape. Bronco troop quickly catches each and every one of them. No problem. Mission accomplished.

It had been a long day and even a longer night.

The Test

Is it love?..

When you can see her face when you close your eyes?
When you can still feel her arms around you, holding you tight, long after she's gone?
When you can still taste her kiss after you have said goodbye?
When you miss her before she's gone?
When her voice lingers in your ears?
When her presence eases any pain?
When her name sends chills down your spine?
When she is the only thing you can think about?
You know you are in love when you can see all her hopes and dreams and her very soul when you look into her eyes?
When her tears stain not only your shirt, but also your heart?
And your heart hurts because of those tears?
When even a simple chore done with her becomes a lasting memory?

You know you are in love when you can't imagine living without her,
and can't figure how you lived before you knew her.
When she fulfills every need and without her you are incomplete.

To love someone completes the heart, and soul and mind all at once.
Are you in love?

Arrrggghhh! Seperation Frustration.

(email from Northern Minnesota)
"Arrggghhh, is all I'm thinking right now. I have a paper due tomorrow, and 3 more due Wednesday, and math sucks, and arrrgghhh...and all I can think about is him.

"Im worried, today he emailed me while I was in my class, and he said that he loves me. But he also said that there are days when he doesn't know if he loves me or not, and he actually thinks about breaking up with me... he said all that, but then he said how much he loves me and wants to have a future with me, but it still scares me that he has these thoughts.

"I mean wouldn't it scare you? It scares the hell out of me. I dont know what to think. All I can think is that I've messed every thing up forever and I hate that. Arrrgghhhh.

"I need him in my life, and I dont know what I'm going to do without him. I want to be his wife, have his children, make a home together, buy a puppy. I dont want to do that with any one else, I want it to be with him...

Now I'm just afraid that if he keeps thinking these thoughts then he won't be mine and we won't be together."

Footprints in Our Hearts

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints in our hearts. And when they do we are never the same again. These are the people we can count as true friends. The ones who have had the most profound affect on us. And it's not that these people are perfect, all of us have a few bad qualities. But we don't love qualities, we love the person. And we can always forgive the mistakes even while we remember the lesson they have taught us. Sometimes in spite of ourselves and in spite of the pain we love them deeply and truly - and forever.

They say it takes only a minute to like someone, only an hour to love someone but to forget the ones you love takes a lifetime. And how truly lucky he is to have met someone who is so hard to say goodbye to, so hard to forget but so easy to love.

I've concluded...

(Email from Iraq...)

"I was thinking, and what I have concluded is. I love her, I always have and I always will - I know this, I think everyone knows this. I just wish it was easier I guess.

"It sounds wierd but I just wish I didnt love her so much. It's so incredibly hard to love her - it hurts too much.

"I think about her in the morning and at night, all the time. I think of the next thing I want to say to her or do with her. I think of special things I can do for her. I think "is what I am doing right now going to make her proud of me or disappointed." I daydream all the time, and people ask me what I am thinking about. people notice when I'm lost in my thoughts.

"I have her pictures everywhere. I have a lock of her hair. I re-read letters and emails constantly. I wish I was there to protect her, I wish I could help her with things, I need to be there. I want so badly just to hold her in my arms and not let go.

"Sometimes I dont think she cares for me, but then I get an "I love you", and it all just washes away. She makes me calm, excited, nervous, happy and sad all at the same time. and then I keep hearing of how we have to stay an extra 3 months even up to 6 months and it hurts all that much more.

"Everyday I wish that she hadn't broken up with me, and I know what has happend can't be undone, and it will take time for me to get over it. and I will.

"I can remember clothes she has worn, I can remember all the times that I tried to ask her out and then chickend out. and I vividly remember the day that I went down to the phone station to talk to her, and she didnt want to talk to me.

"I just want to come home.

"Ok now I am rambling like you do, thanks for allowing me to inherit that disease. Anyway I need sleep, goodnight"

The Wait

I'm not sure who wrote it or when but as I read it I thought of all the women who wait for their loved ones to return.

The Wait
You said wait for me
I waited
You said we'd be free
I waited
You said war was ending
I waited
You said hearts were mending
I waited
You said we were forever
I waited
You said leave me never
I waited
You said not to yearn
I waited
You said you would return
I waited
You said not to worry
I waited
You said you would hurry
I waited
You said not to cry
I waited
You said you and I
I waited
You said it was forever
I waited
You said we'd be together
I waited
Soon I'll join you up above
So, please wait for me my love.

A Digression

It's amazing the amount of support that there is out there. We've had complete strangers come up to us in restaurants and stores and shake his hand - thanking him for the sacrifices he makes.

I guess they can tell that he's military because of the hair thing and also the way that he carries himself. He has a different air about him. It's a sort of a "cockiness" but not really... It's hard to explain but he does have a certain bearing that makes people realize he's not "normal".

After Basic Training graduation at Fort Knox we went to the Outback Steak House in Louisville for Supper. There were a group of college age guys laughing it up and drinking beer at a booth in the corner.

As we sat there it sort of got quiet in the corner. One of the guys walked up to us and stuck his hand out to our son. He said that he wanted to thank him for doing what he was doing and that all of the guys at the table in the corner supported him. They offered to by him a beer. He was even more impressed when he found out that the Soldier was under-age.

True story... And there are many more like it.

Ambush!

An ambush last night south of Samarra, which is located along the avenue of approach to the southern city of Najaf, left one Soldier dead and another wounded.

At 11 p.m., the convoy arrived at Iskandariyah, near the Euphrates River. Groups of Iraqi men stood along the street, silently watching the vehicles pass, many of them with their arms crossed on their chests. No waving, no cheering.
As the rear of the convoy crossed the river, a parachute flare shot up across the moonless night sky. A minute later, two more arced up and then slowly descended. The Soldiers tensed: Flares are commonly used by Iraqi fighters to signal comrades lying in wait for the approach of U.S. troops.

Four minutes after the last flare, a ringing explosion resounded in the middle of the convoy. Sgt Major Fourhman, 47 years old, in charge of the convoy, calmly but quickly said over the radio: "IEDs, IEDs" -- the roadside bombs that the military calls improvised explosive devices. Red dots began zinging at the convoy - tracers, then other flashes and colors. "RPG, RPG," he radioed -- rocket-propelled grenades.

He looked up at the gunner on the .50-caliber. "Ratcliffe, aim for the base of fire."
Pfc. Steve Ratcliffe and the driver -- Spec. Sean Yebba, a 22-year-old from near Boston -- reacted calmly, doing their jobs. No one spoke unnecessarily. Ratcliffe, 19, who worked at a grocery store in Sacramento until he enlisted in the Army, swung the machine gun, searching for a target, his face illuminated only by the green glow of the night-vision scope atop his big weapon and opened fire.

The convoy kept moving, firing as they went. No vehicles were disabled and the machine gun fire quickly ended the threat

"I have one wounded," came a voice over the radio.

The nighttime ambush left one Soldier dead, another wounded. When it was over, a commander in a second Stryker calmly lit a cigarette, leaned over in his Stryker, and in a whisper jokingly said to his crew, "Don't be alarmed, but somebody here is trying to kill us." How true...

Full Moon Rising

When I was driving home one night I looked up at the rising moon. It was shining huge in the sky just above the trees. And as I was looking at it I realized that he had probably looked at that moon today too.

Then I thought that he probably sits in his Stryker or is on perimeter duty and looks up at that same moon and thinks about her. People who love each other were never meant to be this far apart. It's like Iraq is the ultimate test of their strength, of their love. If they pass this test then nothing will ever separate them from each other.

The moon is proof of that - it's there for them - to give them strength. It reflects light like a mirror so maybe, just maybe, it can reflect their love for each other too. Maybe when he looks at the moon he thinks about her love for him. Maybe he can feel her love reflecting from the moon and shining on his heart.

Born Lonesome

Born lonesome it seems. He always seems so lonely when we talk.

He's actually starting to love the country over there. He said the stars there are beautiful - that you can see more stars in the sky there than he has ever seen anywhere else - even in the deserts of Arizona. The stars spread out like a tapestry. They sparkle like diamonds on black felt.

Now he knows exactly what they mean when they say Milky Way. It's as if God spilled milk across the center of the sky. There are so many stars that they seem to meld with each other.

That's when he said he wished his girl could be there. It's so sad to see him write stuff like that. He said he would like to be out in the middle of nowhere far away from everything and everybody, sit under those stars with her and not have a care in the world- got me all choked up.

When I chatted with him it was a little after 9 PM over there. The stars were out and he was very tired.

Najaf

Reports coming from Iraq over the past couple of days indicate coordinated resistance against coalition troops. It seems like the radical terrorists types have joined forces with former Saddam regime members in an attempt to disrupt the peace process.

During the force movements from Mosul to Najaf a lead element of six Strykers encountered an ambush by Iraqi militia at a bridge crossing. The Strykers began to take fire from positions along the road. In the meantime other Iraqi militia moved vehicles on to the road behind the Strykers to block any attempts by the Strykers to retreat. This forced the Strykers to move forward and race across the bridge - concerned that the bridge could go at any moment.

Stryker Ghost Soldiers dismounted and engaged the enemy positions on the far side of the river while the Stryker's 50 Caliber Machine Guns provided covering fire. The resistance was quickly broken and the Strykers secured the bridge for following troops.

There were no reports of US injuries from this engagement. There are also no reliable reports of enemy causalities.

Lead elements of a troop movement like this are generally scout troop platoons - Stryker Brigade's Scout Troops are members of the 1-14 Cav. Our Soldier is in Bronco Troop of the 1-14.

Pray for our troops.

Calm is Relative

The Soldiers of Stryker Brigade sit fixated with misty eyes as the images come across the TVs in Mosul and Tal Afar. Their comrades in Fallujah are getting stuck right in the thick of things and it's upsetting. Attacks in the Northern Provinces are smaller though no less frequent. Handfuls of men probe positions and disrupt patrols every night and every day.

Terrorists and Iraqi dissidents continue to attack and harass SBCT convoys, patrols and bases. Troops always wear their Kevlar and body armor. Always wary of their surroundings. They are prepared, ready to fight a pitched battle at a moments notice but luckily none has materialized.

Viewing what's happening in Fallujah you might think that these young men and women would want to leave for home but it has the exact opposite affect. They are more determined now than ever - there is a job to do and they are determined to get it done.

Stryker Brigade took over the entire Northern Province from the 101st Airborne - a division with 20,000 men in country. SBCT is Brigade strength, only a little more than 5000. Mosul and the surrounding province has a population of 2.5 million. 5000 men and women with no heavy weapons - no tanks - facing a nervous population equal to that of the greater Twin Cities area.

Our Soldier, back in country now, says that every one is more alert - more wary. Even though the conditions in the north are still relatively calm it could change in a heart beat.

Stryker Brigade has detained several dozen Iraqi's and killed a total of 20 attackers over the past week. An eight man patrol narrowly averted disaster yesterday when an IED exploded between their SUV's. The explosion was followed by an attacking body of Iraqi's - the Soldiers sped away in their now windowless SUV's.

The World According to our Soldier

(These are comments taken from conversations I've had with our Soldier over the past two weeks of leave. Sound bites if you will. Some are funny, others are profound and a few are eye opening. These are single statements that found a place in my memory.)

"Local Iraqi food tastes better than Army mess. Kabobs, home made pocket bread - it's good stuff."

"Local food is cheap - you can live like a king all month on ten bucks."

"If you hear gunshots there's no need to duck - the bullets are going some other direction. The other guys look at you like you're crazy but they don't know the secret yet."

"If you hear the whine or crack of a bullet - look for the nearest cover and get under it. The bullets are coming at YOU."

"Sleep where ever and when ever you can - if even for ten minutes - because you never know when you'll sleep again."

"Even hot water tastes great when you're thirsty. For that matter, even hot kool-aid is refreshing. But a hot Coke isn't very appetizing."

"An over heated can of Coca Cola is a ticking time bomb. Never, never throw one at somebody."

"MRE's are "Meals Ready to Eat" but can be referred to as "Meals Rejected by the Enemy"."

"A fire extinguisher can make a real handy "refrigeration unit" in a pinch."

"There's no place on your body where the sand and dirt can't penetrate."

"Showers? Occasionally. Hot showers? What's that? For a long time we didn't have them."

"Mom said that eating a little dirt won't kill you but she never told me how much."

"AK-47's sound way different than M-4's and M-16's. The guys who use them show different levels of restraint too."

"Only trust guys wearing the American flag - never totally trust anybody else. And always remember that some of the guys wearing the flags may not be the brightest bulbs on the tree either."

"Never worry about how the guy next to you smells - you don't smell any better."

"Where do you go to the bathroom? Any where you can."

"Remember - the stupid ones are already dead."

"We have our own version of KFC. It's the local "Kurdish Fried Chicken" place. At least I think that's what it means in Arabic."

"During that firefight? I watched, and well, made some kool-aid."

"Don't think too much, let you're training take over and everything will be fine."

"You and mom should get a house over there when this is all done. You can live real cheap."

"There's no such thing as chance, everything happens for a reason."

"CBS and Survivor? Never seen it but I sure as he!! live it. Hey, most of what we watch in the states is junk anyway."

"Who cares about politics? I'm over there to do a job and that's what we're doing - our jobs."

"Little kids are the same where ever you go. They are always attracted to guys in uniforms. Or maybe it's me."

"Five days dad. How can a relationship survive on five days out of a year?"

"What's an Iraqi party favor? An AK-47. They shoot the darn things into the air at weddings."

"Were was I when Saddam was captured? About an hour away doing work so that the other guys could make the collar. We all heard about it five minutes after it happened."

"The sun, and the moon are the same no matter where you go. That's comforting."

"Yeah, her picture is always with me - actually they're taped up all over my Stryker."

"I wish it had been us. Then no one would have gotten hurt." (Telling a story about an IED going off under a Humvee.)

Everything's A-OK!

Leave has been fun. We enjoyed every minute we could spend with him. But after saying that I have to clarify. We saw less of him than we would have liked to. his social calendar was full.

He and his girl used leave as a chance to re-connect.

Leave was way too short and the seperation is going to be way too long but this picture says it all.

Everything is gonna be A-OK!!

A-OK!

Another successful mission completed! Notice the "white" around the eyes? Goggles protect the eyes on a face that gets plenty dusty.

Call from Kuwait

He called us the other night from Kuwait. We were in the cities and missed the call. That was a bummer. Hearing his voice on the machine was nice but he sounded so tired. He called his girl too (naturally) and when she hung up with him she immediately called us on our cell and told us what he had to say. I had asked her before he left to be sure to let us know when he contacted her and she came through. I told her to tell us everything - even the I love you's - she said she would. So when she called us I asked her how many times he said I love you and she said too many to count. It's good to see them both happy again.

R and R

Rest and recreation. R&R. Two weeks of fun, friends and family. A wonderful time.

Or is it?

There's a brotherhood that is formed when you spend every hour, of every day for months on end with men who you come to depend on. Men who you know will sacrifice everything to help you and for who you would do whatever is necessary. It's hard to leave because you all depend on each other.

Coming home is a mixed bag of emotions. You're elated and you're depressed. You're happy and you're sad. The friends you counted on at home have their own lives, their own schedules - things are different now. Everyone leading an individaul life. You want to be with those you love and care about but they can't put their lives on hold.

The friends you count on in your squad are different. The guys you spend your days with are always there for you. You're part of the team. A piece of the whole. You feel the same emotions, you fear the same things. You have a group focus - the individual doesn't exist.

Coming home is more of a reality check than it is to be in a war zone. Day to day life at home seems so foreign to you now. You wonder why those around you worry over trivial things and don't seem to have a grasp of what's really important. Reality slaps you in the face and suddenly you yearn for the only home you've known for months. You long to be with the friends you've made. You want to feel the brotherhood - it's comforting.

Your experiences have changed you. You look at life differently. Family becomes more important than it has ever been before. You try to pack as much as you can into those 14 days. You need an emotional charge that has to last for the many months ahead. A simple hug or handshake is overflowing with emotion. People you had never spent more than a few minutes with before you shipped out become a vital link to home and you want to talk to them for hours.
And if you're lucky enough to have a special person in your life you worry about them even more when you leave again. You've only had a few days to reconnect and you hope you both have the strength to get through the months to come. A handful of days lifted from a year - you force yourself to remember every second, every nuance, every touch because you will need those memories in the time you are apart to give you the strength to make it.

When all is said and done you cherish the time you've had at home, accept your responsibilites and return to finish your deployment.

His return flight to Iraq left on Thursday, April 8th 2004 at 2:55 PM.

To All Our Troops

To All Our Troops... I asked the Lord to Bless you as I pray for you today to guide you and protect you as you go along your way. His love is always with you His promises are true, And when we give him all our cares You know He will see you through. So when the road you're traveling on Seems difficult at best Just remember I'm praying and God will do the rest.

She called...

She called, she wanted to tell me he was on his way home. She also said that people probably don't believe that she can make it through the rest of his deployment but that they are wrong. She said that she's not going to make the worst mistake of her life twice - once was bad enough.

She tried to express to me how it felt when she would think about him when they were "separated". She said that every time she thought about him she would feel something hot in her chest - like her heart was on fire. Then get a lump in her throat and her eyes would fill with tears. Things were worse - not better.

I told her that she was very brave to be able to swallow her pride and face all of us on Saturday. I said it took lots of guts. She said it felt so weird...

I'm Gonna Keep Him

They are together again in Northern Minnesota - he left yesterday. They are trying to squeeze enough into two days to last them a year. We're still not sure what the future may hold for the two of them. She tells me that she's stronger now and convinced that he's the one for her.

I called them this noon - just to check up on them - typical father thing. I talked to her. They had just finished eating breakfast. (Makes me wonder what they were doing in bed so late in the day - never mind, we won't go there.)

I asked her if they were having fun?
"Oh yeah, just finished breakfast and now were looking for a movie to go to so we can sit in the back. In the dark."
I laughed, "So when's he starting for home?"
Now she laughed, "I love him and I'm gonna keep him!"

At that point I told them to have fun and hung up the phone. I just hope her last statement is true in eight months when he comes home.

The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so, I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

Thanks to Hoobastank

Phone Call from the Heart

Our weekend went by way too fast and his girl had to leave. She stayed as long as she could Sunday evening. We hugged her goodbye in the house and again in the driveway. They left together and shortly they came back again - in separate cars.

Well, we said our goodbyes one last time at the car. She drove away from our house, crying, at around 7:30 PM. We knew that things were better for them, maybe not back to where they began, but certainly there's hope now.

At about 10 PM the phone rang. I checked the caller ID, she was calling from the road. He had gone out with his brother and some friends and I didn't want to have to tell her that he wasn't there for her to talk to. I picked up.

She asked me if she had left her checkbook in the basement family room - I checked. No checkbook. Then she said, "Can I ask you a question?" "Sure," I said. "Are you guys OK with me being back with your son?" I assured her that we were very happy that they were back together.

"We love you like a daughter." I said. That's when she started to cry.

She said, "I'm so sorry for what I've done. And I thought that you guys hated me and wouldn't accept me back. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do. I love your son and want to be with him forever. He's like a part of me - and I want him so much. And I miss you guys too. I miss the talks we used to have. Your family is special to me and I don't want to lose you either."

We talked a while longer but soon we hung up and I told my wife what she had said.

Sometimes it's tough to be a parent. Other times it's heart warming. This time it's both... And this time there's hope.

Open House

Saturday we had an Open House at our place. We invited family and close friends. It was his idea. Before he came home on leave he didn't want to have anybody come over, he didn't want to see anybody.

Now that things are better between him and his girl he decided that seeing people would be a great idea. He and I had run a couple errands one afternoon and we passed by a couple we know taking a walk. We waved at them and he turned to me and said, "Let's have that open house."

About forty people attended. His girl came down from college to be there too. I was amazed. I don't know if I would have had the "guts" to come into a house full of people who knew their history.

Back Home

He's home now. He was with us for a short while and then got extremely jumpy. Had to go find a few friends. Came back a little later - made the discovery that life here moves on - people work, attend classes - that sort of thing. He hung around home until about 10PM and then went to a friend's house after he got off work. Don't know when he came home but he was sleeping soundly when I left for work this morning.